Tonhapwit is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unselfish tapir.

Tonhapwit created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonhapwit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tonhapwit, he will not care.

Tonhapwit's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tonhapwit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not take Tonhapwit's name in vain.