Gomxinkab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless capybara.

Gomxinkab created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomxinkab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomxinkab, she will not invite you to parties.

Gomxinkab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gomxinkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not take Gomxinkab's name in vain.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.