Fonpibbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, generous lion.

Fonpibbeg created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonpibbeg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fonpibbeg, it will turn you into a worm.

Fonpibbeg's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fonpibbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face green.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.