Madlabbam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, stupid hamster.

Madlabbam created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Madlabbam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Madlabbam, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Madlabbam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Madlabbam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Madlabbam.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help squirrels in need.