Garlegdum is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, egotistical tapir.

Garlegdum created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Garlegdum, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Garlegdum, she will turn you into a mole.

Garlegdum's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Garlegdum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

3. Never feed aubergines to aardvarks while wearing violet hats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Never paint your legs red.