Hamwegkamfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, intelligent squirrel.

Hamwegkamfoss created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamwegkamfoss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hamwegkamfoss, he will think nothing of it.

Hamwegkamfoss' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hamwegkamfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Put Hamwegkamfoss first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill eagles.