Mitcetham is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, confident narwhal.

Mitcetham created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mitcetham, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mitcetham, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Mitcetham's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Mitcetham's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Never eat garlic.