Midnullpig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, grumpy spider.

Midnullpig created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midnullpig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Midnullpig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Midnullpig's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Midnullpig's Holy Commandments

1. Midnullpig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.