Gabkanfon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, able squirrel.

Gabkanfon created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabkanfon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gabkanfon, she will curse you with boils.

Gabkanfon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gabkanfon's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Retreat if four manatees approach from the south.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never mention whales.