Fonbagquat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic walrus.

Fonbagquat created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbagquat, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fonbagquat, he will turn you into a dog.

Fonbagquat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fonbagquat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away if seven tortoises approach from the east.

5. Worship no other gods but Fonbagquat.