Narltafjat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless jackal.

Narltafjat created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narltafjat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Narltafjat, it will send minions to preach to you.

Narltafjat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Narltafjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of swans.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never wear kilts.