Batwit Jopdudflamhenyartgil Davmigjip is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, emotional goose.

Batwit Jopdudflamhenyartgil Davmigjip created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batwit Jopdudflamhenyartgil Davmigjip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Batwit Jopdudflamhenyartgil Davmigjip, she will ignore you.

Batwit Jopdudflamhenyartgil Davmigjip's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Batwit Jopdudflamhenyartgil Davmigjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Always wear red.