Fedlaprutt is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, loving centipede.

Fedlaprutt created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedlaprutt, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fedlaprutt, it will turn you into a slug.

Fedlaprutt's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Fedlaprutt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Fedlaprutt on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never feed turnips to squirrels while wearing fawn coats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never wear hats.