Yattonknan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid dingo.

Yattonknan created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattonknan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yattonknan, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Yattonknan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yattonknan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head yellow.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.