Hotparkmig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, competent unicorn.

Hotparkmig created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hotparkmig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotparkmig, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hotparkmig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hotparkmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Always wear black.