Rutxuckbestyamzogvog is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, weak rat.

Rutxuckbestyamzogvog created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutxuckbestyamzogvog, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rutxuckbestyamzogvog, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Rutxuckbestyamzogvog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Rutxuckbestyamzogvog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Put Rutxuckbestyamzogvog first in all things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Run away if eight great tits approach from the south.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.