Dissgantig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair skunk.

Dissgantig created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissgantig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dissgantig, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dissgantig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Dissgantig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Run away from mauve tapirs, for they are unholy.