Yarvilmif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy dugong.

Yarvilmif created water four years ago.

If you believe in Yarvilmif, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarvilmif, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yarvilmif's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yarvilmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt voles.

2. Yarvilmif must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Yarvilmif on top of all buildings.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.