Hitwadflab Haskemxen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty mongoose.

Hitwadflab Haskemxen created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitwadflab Haskemxen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hitwadflab Haskemxen, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hitwadflab Haskemxen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hitwadflab Haskemxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of grasshopers.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Do not take Hitwadflab Haskemxen's name in vain.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not speak about melons.