Mobhitten is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable dryad.

Mobhitten created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobhitten, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mobhitten, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mobhitten's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Mobhitten's Holy Commandments

1. Mobhitten must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never paint your chest mauve.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Do not speak about lemons.