Gemvigjadrow is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, awesome zebra.

Gemvigjadrow created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemvigjadrow, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gemvigjadrow, it will have a low opinion of you.

Gemvigjadrow's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gemvigjadrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near dogs.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Gemvigjadrow loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Always wear red.

5. Never play with disobedient children.