Gemfidbin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, strong aardvark.

Gemfidbin created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemfidbin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gemfidbin, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gemfidbin's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gemfidbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mice.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.