Targripvig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tranquil dugong.

Targripvig created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Targripvig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Targripvig, he will turn you into a sheep.

Targripvig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Targripvig's Holy Commandments

1. Targripvig loves bats, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never feed lentils to ants while wearing blue ear rings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Targripvig.

5. Respect your elders.