Larnpassand is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy shark.

Larnpassand created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnpassand, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnpassand, he will turn you into a slug.

Larnpassand's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Larnpassand's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Erect five tin sculptures of Larnpassand on top of important buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.