Sadlarnstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty hamster.

Sadlarnstaf created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Sadlarnstaf, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sadlarnstaf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sadlarnstaf's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sadlarnstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always help aardvarks.