Nuttyarpmin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking mink.

Nuttyarpmin created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttyarpmin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nuttyarpmin, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Nuttyarpmin's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nuttyarpmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nuttyarpmin's priests.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nuttyarpmin on top of all buildings.

3. You must pray to Nuttyarpmin three times a day.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Nuttyarpmin loves pigs, so they must be respected.