Nabtalbim Afponkik is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unselfish fairy.

Nabtalbim Afponkik created the Black Eye Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nabtalbim Afponkik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nabtalbim Afponkik, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nabtalbim Afponkik's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nabtalbim Afponkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Nabtalbim Afponkik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.