Pasnaktif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless skunk.

Pasnaktif created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pasnaktif, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pasnaktif, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pasnaktif's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Pasnaktif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide from red badgers for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Run away if three dolphins approach from the west.