Flatmobsak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage hyena.

Flatmobsak created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatmobsak, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatmobsak, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flatmobsak's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flatmobsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Feed all hungry voles.

4. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

5. Never write about stars.