Milpomfet is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish centipede.

Milpomfet created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Milpomfet, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Milpomfet, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Milpomfet's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Milpomfet's Holy Commandments

1. Milpomfet loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Run away from brown moths, for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Milpomfet's name in vain.

4. Do not kill doves.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.