Wattimbet is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humane badger.

Wattimbet created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wattimbet, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wattimbet, it will turn you into a plant.

Wattimbet's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Wattimbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help aardvarks.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.