Cabjarnjat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, sapient capybara.

Cabjarnjat created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabjarnjat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cabjarnjat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cabjarnjat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cabjarnjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to porpoises while wearing yellow hats.

2. Cabjarnjat loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Put Cabjarnjat first in all things.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.