Lagrigkad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, staggering guinea pig.

Lagrigkad created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagrigkad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lagrigkad, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lagrigkad's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lagrigkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.