Haslabquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent wyvern.

Haslabquaf created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Haslabquaf, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Haslabquaf, he will think nothing of it.

Haslabquaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Haslabquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Run away if three moths approach from the west.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.