Natgedmottifnullhat Yoggembif is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, happy hippopotamus.

Natgedmottifnullhat Yoggembif created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natgedmottifnullhat Yoggembif, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Natgedmottifnullhat Yoggembif, it will be mildly annoyed.

Natgedmottifnullhat Yoggembif's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Natgedmottifnullhat Yoggembif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.