Daplitwip is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unfair hedgehog.

Daplitwip created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Daplitwip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Daplitwip, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Daplitwip's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Daplitwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed carrots to aardvarks while wearing turquoise skirts.

4. Always treat mice with great respect.

5. Hide from blue doves for they are unholy.