Lablinbusnar is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental crane.

Lablinbusnar created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lablinbusnar, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lablinbusnar, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Lablinbusnar's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Lablinbusnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Lablinbusnar loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.