Bissquilltonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful weasel.

Bissquilltonk created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissquilltonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bissquilltonk, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bissquilltonk's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bissquilltonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never feed pineapples to horses while wearing violet trousers.

5. Always wear mauve.