Xempombetceb is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, vain whale.

Xempombetceb created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Xempombetceb, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xempombetceb, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Xempombetceb's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Xempombetceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Worship no other gods but Xempombetceb.

4. Never wear turquoise shirts.

5. Never look at asteroids.