Xendimceppasyimfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered finch.

Xendimceppasyimfoss created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xendimceppasyimfoss, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xendimceppasyimfoss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xendimceppasyimfoss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Xendimceppasyimfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xendimceppasyimfoss.