Tamxemdub is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating parrot.

Tamxemdub created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamxemdub, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tamxemdub, it will turn you into a hamster.

Tamxemdub's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tamxemdub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never wear mauve ear rings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never play with disobedient children.