Tar is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, vain whale.

Tar created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tar, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tar, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tar's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect your elders.