Viltimcar is a god.

It takes the form of a small, calm fairy.

Viltimcar created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Viltimcar, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Viltimcar, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Viltimcar's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Viltimcar's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three eagles approach from the north.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Put Viltimcar first in all things.