Quartbethin is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate sheep.

Quartbethin created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Quartbethin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartbethin, she will cry a lot.

Quartbethin's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Quartbethin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never talk about manatees.