Butyatvad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, wise tortoise.

Butyatvad created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Butyatvad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Butyatvad, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Butyatvad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Butyatvad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta turtles, for they are unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never look in ponds.