Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, loving narwhal.

Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of moths.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Hamvadzanyam Flislimnat on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about galaxies.