Dobquat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing bird.

Dobquat created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobquat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dobquat, he will curse you with boils.

Dobquat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Dobquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not hurt mice.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Put Dobquat first in all things.

5. Always stare at clouds.