Flapsompodlid is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, generous toad.

Flapsompodlid created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsompodlid, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapsompodlid, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flapsompodlid's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Flapsompodlid's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not commit murder.