Nullvogran is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish crocodile.

Nullvogran created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullvogran, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nullvogran, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nullvogran's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nullvogran's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black goats, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Erect five iron sculptures of Nullvogran on top of important buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.