Sigquamnad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, idiotic lobster.

Sigquamnad created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigquamnad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sigquamnad, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sigquamnad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sigquamnad's Holy Commandments

1. Sigquamnad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.